On the third day of pizza. . . .

     Every long once in a while, maybe once every 6 years, I get an overpowering craving for which the only solution is to add anchovies to my usual order of pepperoni and extra cheese pizza.  Two days ago this abomination was fantastic, yesterday it was pretty good, but as I was eying the box again today around lunch-time, I was forced to wonder: Was this a hassle-free method of raising cholesterol while avoiding actually cooking anything, or was I flirting with food-poisoning? Just how long do anchovies keep in the refrigerator?

     Google has been letting me down a lot lately, and now is no exception.  A search of "how long do anchovies keep in refrigerator" reveals a million forums from cooking websites.  The information available here is probably accurate, and had I not chosen this for my blogging assignment I would be more than willing to gamble my health on it, but this is bigger than just me--I'm being observed, judged, recorded for posterity, and these anecdotal snippets of folk wisdom aren't going to cut it for Mr or Mrs John Q. Professor.  Fortunately, I have a backup plan.

     My survival instincts have served me well, and what they usually tell me is this: when in doubt, trust a source that has a lot to lose from leading you astray.  It is the very same instinct that allows me to eat at the establishments of corporate fast-food behemoths with impunity;  McDonald's for example has billions in the bank, billions that they would prefer not to lose to me in a highly publicized lawsuit subsequent to poisoning my quarter pounder with cyanide.  This is the delicate equilibrium of capitalism and consumer in a hyper-litigious society.  Who has more to lose than McDonald's?  Perhaps no one except Exxon, Hollywood, and the U.S. Government.

     Typing "FDA" into my Google search bar, I immediately get a hit--welcome to the United States Food and Drug Administration's home page ( http://www.fda.gov/).  The listing for "food" in the user-friendly interface immediately catches my eye, and I select the sub-category, "consumers".  Here ( http://www.fda.gov/Food/ResourcesForYou/Consumers/default.htm) there is a link for "fresh and frozen seafood, selecting and serving it safely" with a section on "storing seafood" ( http://www.fda.gov/Food/ResourcesForYou/Consumers/ucm077331.htm).

     A dead end. There is a lot of fascinating information here, but it is limited to safely storing uncooked seafood after it is purchased--I'm going to have to brave the site's search engine.  Several misses later (including "storing cooked foods", which I found to be quite succinct), I search for "refrigerator" and find a heading that reads "how long can I keep my food in the refrigerator/on the shelf"--bingo.

     This link (http://www.fda.gov/AboutFDA/Transparency/Basics/ucm194273.htm) leads me to another link for the FDA's refrigerator and freezer storage chart ( http://www.fda.gov/Food/ResourcesForYou/Consumers/Seniors/ucm182679.htm#storchart).  According to the FDA, I should not eat this pizza.  Fresh fish and fatty fish should be discarded after two days in the refrigerator.  This is what scientists refer to as a "major bummer", I'm going to have to cook.  Farewell dear anchovies, until we meet again in 2017.